I don’t know how to explain this, but my heart hurts a bit in that way it does when you love someone more than words can explain every time Rue comes and curls up next to me.
When I got her, she was so scared. She’d been let down by everyone and didn’t trust humans at all. She never slept in the bed, never lied down on the couch if I was there, never wanted to be close. It took her three weeks to dare to eat when I was awake, four months to dare to lie by my feet in the bed (when she was sure I was asleep), five months to lie down on the corner of the couch when I was sitting there, and over a year to dare to ask for some attention, and she only did it ever so rarely.
When she learned to sleep next to me when I was awake it took her over two years to stop being scared and run away when I moved, and there are still times when I walk towards her that she thinks she’s done something wrong and runs away, but today I can move without her being afraid, I can gently pull the blanket she’s sleeping on without her thinking it means she’s gotta move, and she comes and curls up next to me when I sit with my computer.
At night, she comes and lies next to my head, purring loudly, and when I watch movies she comes to lie in my lap, begging for that attention other cats usually demand whenever they want it.
Just seeing her lie down and relax like this, knowing I won’t hurt her, makes my heart clench. I know this little girl has been through things that made her lose all trust in people, and it hurts to think that someone could have hurt or scared her so much that she once thought every movement I made meant she had to flee, but at least I know she’ll never have to be afraid again, because she’s going to stay with me until the day her little heart can no longer beat for her, and I will love her more than anyone else have ever done.
Unlike everyone else, I will never let her down. She’s mine, and I’m hers, forever ❤